7 Things St. Louis Parents Need to Know About Child Custody [2025]

Custody cases are the most emotionally charged aspect of any divorce. They're also the area where misinformation is most common and most dangerous. Here are seven facts every St. Louis parent needs to know.

1. Missouri Strongly Prefers Joint Custody

Missouri's custody statute starts from a presumption that joint custody is in the best interests of the child. Courts look for reasons to deviate from joint custody — not reasons to award it. If you want sole custody, you'll need to show that joint custody would harm your child.

2. Your Child's Preference Matters — But Isn't Decisive

Missouri courts do consider a child's wishes, particularly for older children and teenagers. But a 16-year-old saying "I want to live with Mom" isn't an automatic win. The court weighs the child's preference against all other best-interest factors, including stability and each parent's ability to meet the child's needs.

3. Social Media Can Destroy Your Case

Courts routinely consider social media evidence in custody cases. Photos of excessive drinking, posts disparaging the other parent, or even inconsistencies between your stated lifestyle and your social media presence can all be used against you. Assume everything you post is being seen by opposing counsel.

4. Document Everything — Starting Today

Keep a daily log of your parenting activities: school pickups, medical appointments, homework help, extracurriculars, bedtimes. If the case goes to trial, your attorney can use this documentation to paint a clear picture of your day-to-day parenting. Start now — don't wait.

5. Moving Out of the House Is Risky

Leaving the marital home — even temporarily — can affect both your custody claim and your property rights. Before moving out, consult with an attorney about the potential consequences. If you need to leave for safety reasons, document why and get a protection order if appropriate.

6. Cooperative Parents Get Better Outcomes

Missouri courts reward parents who demonstrate they'll support the child's relationship with the other parent. Being the "friendly parent" — even when it's difficult — is a genuine legal strategy, not just good parenting advice.

7. Violation of Temporary Orders Has Consequences

If a temporary custody order is in place, follow it exactly — even if you disagree with it. Violations can result in contempt sanctions and, more importantly, can signal to the court that you won't respect court orders in the future. That is devastating to a custody case.